The National Reflection Room® Launches at Beechwood Cemetery to Help Address Unresolved Grief and Loss

By Saint Elizabeth Foundation

The National Reflection Room® opened during the holiday season to the public at Beechwood Cemetery in Ottawa, Canada’s National Cemetery. Located in the tranquil setting of Beechwood’s mausoleum, this dedicated space offers a unique opportunity for quiet reflection, healing, and connection. The Reflection Room® is open to all visitors, inviting them to honour loved ones, reflect on legacies, and share their experiences with grief, loss, and remembrance. The installation was donated by the Saint Elizabeth Foundation and endorsed by the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association.

National Reflection Room® Launch attendees from the hospice palliative care and grief and bereavement sectors. Seated Left to Right: Nicolas McCarthy, Beechwood Cemetery; Nancy Lefebre, SE Health; Laurel Gillespie, CHPCA.

As more people across Canada struggle with unresolved grief in loss amplified by the shortage of mental health and grief supports available to communities, the Reflection Room offers a new way of aiding in processing difficult emotions and experiences. Many people may be familiar with the “five stages” of grief model (denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance) made famous by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the 1960s. However more recent research suggests that there are many different types of grief and progressing through linear stages is not how most people experience grief.

In contrast, the “dual process model” of grief, developed in the 1990s by Dutch researchers Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, has become a more widely accepted model of grief in the academic literature. It suggests that a grieving individual copes by alternating between confronting and avoiding grief and is buffeted by two types of stressors – loss-oriented stressors (for example, activities that highlight the loss) and restoration-oriented stressors (for example, activities that divert attention away from the loss).

Acknowledging and “naming” grief has been suggested to be an important step in processing loss in a healthy and productive way. Storytelling is a practice integral to many cultures and communities to support relationships through shared human experiences. In grief and bereavement research, storytelling has been demonstrated to have an affirming, healing effect on both the storyteller and on those who hear the stories through mechanisms of emotional disclosure, cognitive processing and building social connections.

Beginning in 2016, researchers at the SE Research Centre of SE Health and at Memorial University of Newfoundland set up the Reflection Room in 57 places across Canada. People were invited to read other people’s “reflections” about dying or death, or to write their own. Since then, the Reflection Room has evolved to respond to pandemic-related grief and loss in long-term care homes, hospitals, hospices, and community settings. Today, Reflection Room kits donated by the Saint Elizabeth Foundation have helped more than 300 communities and organizations. Over 2,000 people have found the Reflection Room helpful in coming to terms with dying, death, and other types of loss.

The National Reflection Room® permanent installation in Beechwood’s mausoleum.

Reflections on grief and loss left by visitors have included:

“I wasn’t there at first. You waited. I finally got there. You were there for me. I stayed. You said goodbye. I remember.”

“Covid broke me. Then my friends and family put me back together again.”

“As I grappled with my sense of loss after my Daniel died. I realized that understanding the grieving process was going to help me go through this. Reflection Room is good for this process.”

Initial findings from the Reflection Room installations included a focus on the several thematic elements: real appreciation for the opportunity to reflect and remember; feelings of regret running deep and experiences remaining in our hearts even though years or decades have passed; and expressions of gratitude for people, experiences and memories are central to the storytelling.

The National Reflection Room will be featured during special events at Beechwood Cemetery throughout the year, welcoming visitors to share their stories and read the stories of others. Organizations or communities interested in hosting a Reflection Room are invited to contact the Saint Elizabeth Foundation at [email protected].